Name's Jessica, and I'm going to die alone with 37 cats
I live in Indiana... the state, not the town in Pennsylvania.
Hockey and baseball, man. They're the best. Even better than pizza and milkshakes.
I have an unnatural obsession with anything Pittsburgh. Want me to love you? Take me to Pittsburgh, or even just mention Pittsburgh.
Alex Presley is a terrible baseball player. But I will still always say play him in left field.
Nothing matters except life and the love you make
I want Benedict Cumberbatch in my Cumbersnatch.
Someone’s probably in love with you right now, even though you think you’re boring and stupid and smell bad most of the time, someone probably saw you last week and wiped their sweaty hands on the insides of their pockets and thought about your body under your clothing and about how you would look asleep in their bed
how do you tell someone you miss them when they don’t want to hear it
Sidney Crosby: Our captain, his jaw broke, but he's actually more attractive now, MVP.
Evgeni Malkin: Still learning English, his parents love Pittsburgh, he is score.
James Neal: Was a star before he actually became a star, has a pretty smile, and a knack for goals.
Kris Letang: Fabulous hair, better than PK.
Marc Andre Fleury: Just had a baby, most winning Penguin goaltender, called a plant.
Brooks Orpik: The Chuck Norris of the NHL, he is like Jesus, but more muscular.
Chris Kunitz: The better half of Sidney Crosby, well when he's not playing with Malkin.
Matt Cooke: Called the Cookie Monster, generally happy soul, has random bursts of goals.
Brandon Sutter: Part of collection of Sutters, eventually somebody will want to collect them all, mh, Carolina.
Tyler Kennedy: Finally was scratched, said to be Bylsma's favorite player, licks sticks, sorry but not sorry.
Brenden Morrow: Was a star while a star, also was a captain, traded it all away for a chance at the Cup.
Pascal Dupuis: Potash's secret lover, faster than the road runner, has about 10000 children.
Jarome Iginla : Jarome Arthur-Leigh Adekunle Tig Junior Elvis Iginla, that is all you need to know
Tomas Vokoun: He used to be a Capital, yet we love him now, pretty good for being old.
Deryk Engelland: YOU TOUCH ME, YOU DIE.
Douglas Murray: YOU TOUCH ANYONE IN A PENS JERSEY, YOUR WHOLE TEAM DIES.
Jussi Jokinen: Scores like the goalie is a mouse and the puck is a beach ball, doesn't miss Carolina.
Beau Bennett: Comparable to Lemieux apprently, from Cali, probably surfs during the offseason.
Craig Adams: Went to Harvard, doesn't need the hockey life for money, chooses it.
Tanner Glass: Likes to fight, was a Jet, has a trendy first name and a last name to match where you are going if you touch him.
Joe Vitale: Called JOEY V, like he's from Jersey Shore, was born in St. Louis, not like Martin St. Louis.
Mark Eaton: Said is plan all along was to come back to Pittsburgh, we are happy he is home.
Matt Niskanen: Was like an extra part of the Neal-Goose trade, turned out to be frisky, not risky.
Paul Martin: Used to be decent now amazing, an important peice of our "D".
Robert Bortuzzo: I don't know him much, he was born in the same city as the Staals, STAAL, JORDAN....
Eric Hartzell: At first I thought they said Hartnell, I was concerned.